Be Intentional
"Wherever you are, be all there." -Jim Elliot
TRUTH
You and I are endowed with agency - the gift of choice. Each moment, we choose our thoughts, our words, and our actions. By not making a conscious, intentional choice - we subsequently choose the default of this world. And the default of this world is negative, ugly, harsh, condescending, and unproductive. Through being intentional - acting with a design or purpose - we overcome the fallen tendencies of our nature and become a source of light.
At times, we may feel sluggish or grumpy or bitter. If we pause and observe, we will typically find these unwanted feelings and states of being are a result of us not being intentional in our thoughts and words and actions. Instead, we have been acted upon. We have allowed the dross of another’s words or our own repeated, critical self-talk or a challenging situation to infiltrate our thoughts and emotions without the active choice to pause, breathe, and assess. And when we are acted upon, the result is seldom good. Knee-jerk verbal and tactile responses ensue and self-control diminishes.
In spite of past choices to be acted upon - whether the “past” is 15 years ago or 5 minutes ago - you and I can choose at this very moment to be intentional in our thoughts, our feelings, our words, and our actions. Not sure how? Read on!
BEAUTY
“Visualization is daydreaming with a purpose.” – Bo Bennett
In order to be intentional day-after-day, we need to know what we want in life and who we want to become. We do not need a perfectly defined roadmap laid out (because I promise you the detours life brings you will change it), however, we need to know these answers to guide our motivations and decisions and actions. These answers may change as we go along and living with intention will bring the need for changes to our awareness and help us make course corrections.
Using our imagination to envision who we want to become and the contribution and legacy we desire to make in our lifetime is a beautiful gift. When we visualize, we can transcend the darkest moment of reality into an optimistic, light-filled future.
Through visualization, we establish and define - in detail - how we want to show up and influence and impact our world. We feel gratitude for the talents and skills we use to help others succeed and for the joy we receive by recognizing the fulfillment of our dreams.
Spending a few minutes every day visualizing our intended future is powerful. It guides our actions in the present moment and provides momentum towards consistent effort. We can intentionally create our future by visualizing what we imagine our future to be. Whether it’s finishing a marathon, remaining calm in a heated conversation, traveling to your bucket-list country, nailing a presentation at work, or launching a business - our future can be as bright and beautiful as we imagine it to be!
For more resources on visualization for adults and youth, consider these resources:
-https://www.betterup.com/blog/visualization
-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsEkNunXtkw
-https://www.calm.com/blog/visualization-meditation
GOODNESS
Intentional positive language - words aimed to edify, to elevate, to share light and goodness - is a powerful force that often lacks in the communication within our world today. Sarcasm, name-calling, and inflammatory expletives are just a few examples of the written and verbal communication we often see in social media, entertainment, news bites, and even, within our homes.
We can absolutely change our language - even in this very moment - from destructive and degrading to uplifting, encouraging, and beneficent. Here are a few suggestions.
Written Communication:
Go back and reread the tweet, the post, the email, or the text and ask yourself:
- Is any part of my language defamatory (name-calling, slandering)?
- Is my language hateful?
- Could words or phrases be less harsh while still being informative?
- Is my language vulgar?
If the answer is "Yes" to any of these questions, consider reframing your communication. Opinions and preferences and needful information can be expressed without calling names and slandering individuals or organizations. Our words can and should be free of hatred and vulgarity. We lose arguments immediately and literally stifle the comprehension and receptivity of communication partners (as evidenced in neuroscience data) when we use language that attacks and demeans. Have you ever "won over" someone's opinion by swearing at and belittling them, in written or spoken language?
Oral/Verbal Communication:
Consider the practice of Compassionate Communication, as defined in Words Can Change Your Brain (Andrew Newberg, M.D. & Mark Robert Waldman) when entering a conversation:
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Relax
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Stay present
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Cultivate inner silence
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Increase positivity
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Reflect on your deepest values
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Access a pleasant memory
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Observe nonverbal cues
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Express appreciation
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Speak warmly
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Speak slowly
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Speak briefly
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Listen deeply
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You (and I) might feel this is a long list for a typical conversation with a friend. Yet, a simple conversation and a good friend create a perfect scenario for us to practice these intentional strategies, so we can naturally apply them in those conversations that might be more intense and emotionally-charged. We can become examples of goodness in all our communication, if we choose.
EXCELLENCE
Increaing excellence in intentionality requires us to prioritize those tasks and commitments which will bring us closer to our intended goal, dream, and state of being. And prioritization requires us to let go of less-important tasks that do not lead us to our goals and desires.
All of us can immediately list 2-3 items in our daily schedule we could give less time to or completely eliminate in order to keep our focus and time attuned to the most important endeavors before us.
So, I extend you and myself this challenge - Ask yourself each morning: "How can I become more intentional in {insert the habit, goal, desire you're wanting to achieve} by just 1% today?" Incremental changes lead to massive results without demanding an immediate (an often, unrealistic) overhaul.
Just 1%! It's doable. :-) Infact, it's a relief because all of us can adjust our course by 1%. Here are a few ideas to get your own thoughts flowing:
- Set a phone timer for social media scrolling. Allow yourself what you think is necessary, just set a limit.
- Add one simple and short task to your to-do list today that will get you closer to your intention. It could be just a 1-minute task. It doesn't matter the time allocated - as long as it brings more focus to your dream.
- Create a subtle change in your environment that will help you be more intentional. Turn off background TV noise? Add calming music? Go to bed 15 minutes earlier? Skip the second cookie? Take a brief, 5-minute walk at lunch?
- Take 30 seconds in the mirror while getting ready and give yourself a high-5, or a pat on the back, or a smile with a positive, "I AM...." affirmation. Set your mindset for an intentional day.
A FINAL LOVE NOTE
"The greatest thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving." -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
You have the power to choose where and how you move. Intentionally choose to move toward your dreams, friends.
Remember - you are divine and loved. You are beautiful, worthy, and strong.
Lovingly,
